TheBlog

watched the first season of The Guild with Chris.

bwahahahahaaha

10/3/2009

Chris: What are you up to?

Me: At a wedding

Chris: !! who?

Me: Me, didn’t I tell you?

Chris: =O you harpy!! How could youuuu!!??

Me:Eh, free cake, you know?

Chris: lol free party favors too!

Me:Well yeah. You don’t mind right? I’ll have to move in with my new husband tho. You can handle the apt.

Chris: I’m doomed! Ruined again! Stabbed through the heart by someone I love for the umpteenth time! Is there no justice!? No god!??

Chris: What time you getting home? Store tonight?

——–

11/28/09

Me: we love you conrad, oh yes we do. we love you conrad, and we’ll be true. when you’re not near us, we’re bluuuue. oh conrad we love yooou
Chris: conrad!??
Me: hes a fine, upstanding, patriotic, healthy, normal American boy
Chris: how would you describe me?
Me: well, you are no conrad…

Chris: snow snow snow
Me: snow? what? where?
Me: its not snowing at my house
Chris: whaaa?
Me: yeah, its beautiful at my house. just got back from a little walk around the block
Me: a little chilly maybe, but sunny
Chris: :*
Chris: lies! all of it!
Me: dude, im so not
Me: its really really nice over here
Me: maybe its just the peninsula thats snowing
Chris: dang it
Me: id take a picture, but i used up all my battery on those butterflies
Me: and that dog yesterday
Chris: uh huuuuh
Chris: oh wells. big ol parking ban right now. =(
Chris: brb!
Me: lol, sucks to live on the peninsula
Chris: yah it does
Chris: brb fo reals
Me: elise had to drop something off over here, she was all jealous
Chris: oh yah? =)
Me: yup
Chris: hehe
Me: todays a good day to take out that pumpkin. i hear its supposed to snow later, so i should get it out before the clouds come
Chris: aye aye
Me: how much snow you got so far? i wonder if itll be bad when it starts over here
Chris: its snowing pretty hard
Chris: i would say 7 by now
Me: wow, really? weird that it isnt snowing here..
Chris: yah i looked at the radar.. its kinda a big circle right over the city
Me: intown maybe
Me: the radar is a lie, cause its really not snowing here
Chris: dang
Me: im gonna go take out that pumpkin. looks like there are a few clouds coming in
Chris: kk
Me: finally, that pumpkin is off my porch!
Chris: haha how did it look?
Me: pretty gross
Me: i shouldve taken it out when it was an icicle. it was a little softer than i wouldve cared for
Chris: haha
Me: oh well. at least i got it out before the snow started
Me: it looks like it might be starting now. a few flakes here and there
Chris: brace for it!
Me: !
Me: at least it was a nice morning!
Chris: hehe

So… last night we went to bottoms up…

Ed’s dad has a friend at the bar, Bob, who was making confetti out of everything he could find. beer bottle lables, coasters, napkins, the styrofoam container that had chips in it that i tried to take away from him, a plastic plate when they brought out a little buffet…

He was also taking apart some of the festive garland that was wrapped around a pole.

This is Bob… and Ed’s dad’s arm

His girlfriend was about ready to smack him the whole night. I like her.

Ed and I thought that bowl of round brown thing was a bowl of potatoes, which really makes no sense. WHY WOULD THEY BE POTATOES???? We figured out that they were rolls, but continued to call them potatoes

The picture taking got more interesting from there. i think? i had 2 shots and 4 beers.

me (11:51:50 PM): i am drunker than usuaoly
me (11:51:57 PM): lol
elise (11:51:59 PM): you really are
me (11:52:43 PM): j hz dWHAT, three drimls 2 shots?
elise (11:53:08 PM): are you sure you didnt have more?
elise (11:53:11 PM): what were the shots
me (11:53:31 PM): one washinton apple one mini margarita
me (11:53:43 PM): and 3 ? pbrs?
me (11:53:47 PM): maybe 4
elise (11:53:56 PM): did you eat anything?
me (11:53:56 PM): since 8 pm
me (11:54:11 PM): roll.s. which ed and i called potatoes
elise (11:54:41 PM): heh
elise (11:54:48 PM): and peanut butter
elise (11:54:52 PM): hiccups gone?
me (11:55:24 PM): nd ]eamtit butter. np[e still tthere
me (11:55:41 PM): knee still wet too
elise (11:56:07 PM): why is your knee wet?
me (11:56:49 PM): ed spilled last beer i thinks
elise (11:57:01 PM): jerk!
me (11:57:11 PM): he was drunk
me (11:57:14 PM): lol
elise (11:57:15 PM): ah
me (11:57:47 PM): ok, bed i think. hiccup. happy new year
elise (11:58:24 PM): happy new year. i love you
me (11:58:46 PM): i lo ve yo utoo.
me (11:59:13 PM): lapptu screen move.
me (11:59:25 PM): love upi
me (11:59:31 PM): <3
me (11:59:35 PM): srs;;t
me (11:59:43 PM): srs;/ty tjat os
me (11:59:50 PM): driuml
me (11:59:55 PM): <3
me (12:00:12 AM): for rea;
me (12:00:16 AM): real
me (12:00:23 AM): <3
me (12:00:27 AM): yeah
me (12:00:39 AM): love upi
elise (12:00:42 AM): dick clark says happy new year
me (12:00:44 AM): you
me (12:00:54 AM): thanls dock clark

Chris (11:36:56 PM): hahahsahasa
Me (11:36:57 PM): am drunker than in along timeo
Chris (11:37:03 PM): meweeetw2w2owowo
Chris (11:37:16 PM): hsahsas:-$
Me (11:37:50 PM): T+YES''p/;/p;,lk';'/?
Me (11:38:00 PM): where the fuck is enter key'
Chris (11:38:03 PM): yuetyyyyysssss
Chris (11:38:21 PM): howopor dderunk areat youatr
Chris (11:38:31 PM): ffas
Me (11:38:56 PM): very'
Chris (11:39:00 PM): hgasehrfahhsahya
Me (11:39:08 PM): my knee is wet with pbr
Chris (11:39:14 PM): ]xxxxdDDDD

Me (11:39:18 PM): cause thats whqt cgrampa drankw
Chris (11:39:36 PM): “”"gtpsagdfpgy
Chris (11:39:42 PM): tahtsat awesto0k\
Chris (11:39:42 PM): \
Chris (11:39:50 PM): aewesome’
Chris (11:40:04 PM): gah danmin it
Me (11:40:14 PM): serioulsly
Me (11:40:17 PM): hiccuops
Chris (11:40:19 PM): i hearawer that
Me (11:40:23 PM): im so steryoepticall
Chris (11:40:25 PM): lolojholo
Chris (11:40:32 PM): hahaa meeeee twwwooo\
Me (11:40:53 PM): need peanut butter
Chris (11:40:59 PM): yppouur sist lautath igingt]\
Me (11:41:00 PM): cured hiccups
Chris (11:41:52 PM): trlol[]\
Me (11:41:53 PM): i took pics at bar
Chris (11:42:00 PM): reatly?
Chris (11:42:25 PM): fjuhuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu’
Me (11:42:25 PM): yeah. upload tomorrow
Chris (11:42:29 PM): wroorooty
Me (11:42:33 PM): or tonights. lets see
Chris (11:42:38 PM): shaerthath
Chris (11:42:42 PM): i meaTRATN
Chris (11:42:44 PM): HAHAHA
Me (11:43:23 PM): my kne e is wet
Chris (11:43:39 PM): WAAAARHHHDS?
Chris (11:43:53 PM): LICHCV LICAH LAITHC
Chris (11:44:13 PM): I MEAEEN LICK ALICIK LICAK\
Me (11:44:48 PM): i have to pee, brb
Chris (11:44:59 PM): LOAL OK\
Chris (11:48:29 PM): TRULY, YOURS IS A BUTT THAT JUST WON’T QUIT.
Me (11:50:23 PM): sillly me dlcose lapd top
Me (11:50:31 PM): lol, my buttt
Chris wants to directly connect (11:52:38 PM).
The connection could not be established because an error occurred. (Note: For best results, you and your buddy should use the latest version of AIM.) (11:52:39 PM).
Chris (11:52:46 PM): hahhaha
Me (11:53:08 PM): shit send that again’
Chris (11:53:42 PM): hahahee
Me (11:54:17 PM): hicuup
Me (11:58:00 PM): hiccup!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me (11:58:06 PM): sllrup
Me (11:58:15 PM): happy new eyar?!
Me (11:58:22 PM): droooolyy
Me (12:01:43 AM): hiccuos are so cliche
Me (12:01:47 AM): serioueslgy
Me (12:02:04 AM): bur i havw rwhm
Me (12:02:14 AM): udh
Me (12:02:17 AM): ok
Me (12:02:25 AM): goodnight i thinkk
Chris (12:02:27 AM): brb
Chris signed off at 12:02:34 AM.
Me (12:02:35 AM): seriously:?
________________________________________
Previous message was not received by Chris because of error (12:02:36 AM): User Chris is not available.
________________________________________

Me (12:12:20 AM): seriously:?
________________________________________
Previous message was not received by Chris because of error (12:12:20 AM): User Chris is not available.
________________________________________

Me (12:13:35 AM): ok. brf \\\m bed time. i puked. serioud;sly. ok. mihjy. sleep k
________________________________________
Previous message was not received by Chris because of error (12:13:35 AM): User Chris is not available.
________________________________________

Brad (12:03:48 AM): chris is broken so I’m taking over
Me (12:13:58 AM): ok/ i am drunk night

Yeah, that’s right. it’s bad poetry day.

are you excited?

I am excited

Feel free to post some bad poetry!

Bad poetry page

Yes, that’s right. Kinoki.

Magical footpads that suck all your toxins out through your feet while you sleep.

Just like how a tree releases its toxins through its roots.

Why… Just read these reviews!

Anonymous – It Worked
Thank you Kinoki, your product protects me from toxins. Being a magic user I am particularly vulnerable to toxins since I have low hitpoints. By placing these on my feet I can confidently attack rogues with poisoned blades without worry. Thank you Kinoki, because of you I was able to reach level 12! oh and my feet smelllll GREAT!!!

P.S. I am a caster and tend to wear light colored cloth robes, I prefer white. My robes use to be dingy all of the time and I couldn’t figure out why. I now know it was all the toxins in my body seeping into my robes. I had always put off wearing my +8 magic +2 health +2 speed robes because I didn’t want to ruin them. I can say I have been wearing my new robes and look fantastic. I think the elf across the way has noticed me. Any way, thank you again. My life is vastly improved from your man pads.

Anonymous – It Worked
Before I used this product I had HIV and I had been diagnosed w/ brain cancer…

Now THANKS to Kinoki i’ve been miraculously cured of both diseases!

Thank You Kinoki you’ve saved my life

Anonymous – Didn’t Work
Okay, to the person that said the product cured them of brain cancer and HIV – that is totally full of bullshit. If the product did cure you of those diseases, then why aren’t the top doctors of hospitals using them to cure those sick with those fatal diseases? The product doesn’t work and a waste of money.

Anonymous – Didn’t Work
I know that I am full of toxins, since I drink a pint of Jack Daniels, a 12 pack of Stroh’s and eat McDonald’s daily. I put these on my feet, and they did nothing for a week. Then I read the comment that I may have too many toxins, so I placed a second set on my shins. Still no help.

Then I slept with a prostitute (4 times in one night–maybe it did help my stamina!) and contracted gonorrhea. Then I KNEW that was toxic, so I wrapped one around my male member. Still no help.

Must I go to the evil doctor and follow the advice of someone who studied their life to help people?

Anonymous – It Worked
Not only did i use them on my feet, I also used them for mensturation! They were great and I stopped bleeding after the seventh day! Thanks Kinoki for much less toxins!

Anonymous – Didn’t Work
Didn’t work for me so I went to a specialist in ancient Chinese homeopathic remedies, Dr. Dong Ho. She explained that toxins are best released through a natural drainage tube like the penis. The sessions were expensive..about $100 each..but I did feel much better immediately!

Anonymous – Didn’t Work
i haven’t shit in 3 weeks this does not work!! i want a refund.

Anonymous – Didn’t Work
Kinoki’s fancy diagram of a tree losing toxins through its roots had me pretty convinced. I figured that humans and trees are basically the same thing. I guess I was wrong because they didn’t work.

Anonymous – Didn’t Work
I never used it, but would like to know the wise guy that told me to save my $ by using superglue and a maxi pad. thanks alot!! wifes maxipad 1.25 three bottles of super glue 9.75 a trip to the emergency room 150.00 my wife leaving me because I’m an idiot priceless. so in a sense it did work. without even trying it.

Anonymous – It Worked
Woohoo! These pads are awesome! I don’t know what has helped me more: Kinoki, Ginko Biloba, ion neckace, copper bracelet, or my 70s mood ring.

Anonymous – It Worked
After using these magical Kinoki pads my arthritis went away also my erectile dysfunction!

Thanks Kinoki!

Anonymous – It Worked
Wow! Where do I begin? My girlfriend’s mother gaver her a set of Kinoki foot pads for a Christmas stocking stuffer. Not being fool enough to try them, they got tossed into a drawer and nearly forgotten about– at least until a few nights ago. Last Tuesday evening, my girlfriend and I got into a playful argument over which movie to watch first as we had rented two. For some reason, watching a flick about Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore writing song lyrics together just wasn’t high on my list of priorities.

We agreed to watch Jeopardy together and the first person to answer ten questions would get to choose the movie. I had ten correct answers blurted out when she had just four. We watched “Easy Rider” together, then I decided to retire for the evening. Well, the proverbial excrement hit the fan as my lovely lady voiced her displeasure that she sat through “my movie” and felt I should now sit through hers… Looking back, bringing up her loss on the Jeopardy bet probably was a stragic error. Doing so with a grin was an outright mistake.

Sometime during the night, she decided to pull a fast one and retrieved her mamma’s unused Christmas gift and took out a pad. Being the observant and creative type, she took notice that I was sleeping commando– and decided she’d put the pad somewhere interesting. Hours later, in the early hours of the morning, nature took it’s course and parts of me began to wake up sometime before my brain and eyes…

It was the discomfort that woke me that morning– not the alarm clock sitting bedside. I pusked back the covers to discover what looked like a giant sanitary napkin stuck between my legs. Half of it had a firm grasp on my squishy parts, but the remainder of the adhesive-backed pad stuck resolutely to the sensitive skin stretched tight by my growing– ahem– tension. Removing that pad with a swift, “let’s-get-it-over-with” tug produced blinding pain, a yelp and startled the hell out of my partner who awoke just in time to see the results produced by the Kinoki.

While I can not say that it actually drew any toxins out of my crotch, the pad certainly had removed folicles to which I had been previously attached. When the laughter stopped, my girlfriend took sympathy (or should I say empathy) on me and retrieved from the bathroom some kind of gel she uses when she shaves. The gel was cool and soothing with a slight afterburn. Refreshing, eh? She assured me that this was “the thing to do”.

So, in closing– I just want to thank Kinoki. While obviously not the intended purpose for their product, the pads left me with a smooth feel and look that my lady simply can’t get enough of. I literally haven’t slept in three days.

She’s in the next room sleeping soundly with a smile on her face as I write this. After I click “Submit” I’ll be grabbing a fresh Kioki pad and heading off to the bedroom. I think it’s time for that quirky, little “landing strip” of hers to finally disappear.

Bottom line..

Kinoki sucks the toxins out of your feet. toxins that cause brain cancer, hiv, and low hp. It will cure all diseases and make your sex life better. Not to mention the additional uses such as hair removal and maxi pads.

We went for lunch after the orchid gardens. There were lots of birds hanging out there. We ate in the car. I couldn’t resist the urge to toss them a fry. Antics ensued.

This is DirtyBeak. He kept coming back to the windshield. He had a dirty beak.

There was also a big white bird that at first would allow you to hit it in the head with a fry and it would just stand there. Later he walked around to my side of the car and I tossed him a fry. He worked it back and forth in his beak, squishing out the potato before finally turning it around and eating it.